Ah yes the dreaded two week wait.
I don't feel confident in this cycle but we will see.
I wanted to share with you all what happened to me about an hour ago.
I was coming back from kennedy's dr appt. & once again my mind started running in places it shouldnt
i was struggling.

I grew up in a strict christian household. I believe in God. But with some of the things that has happened in my life I was losing faith. When I had Kennedy my faith was restored, but I still struggle with why me?

As I sat there driving thinking & thinking, I turned on the radio to drowned out my thoughts.
& this song was on the radio.

In God's time
A million years might only be a single day
And everything He does gets done His own way
In God's time

And in God's time
You'll find that certain someone you've been praying for
And they'll be everything you dreamed of and a little more
In God's time

Oh, but no one knows
Not you or me
It might be tomorrow or it might never be
Oh, but don't lose faith
Put it in His hands
'Cause it might be that He might have a bigger plan
Than you had in mind
Miracles happen
In God's time

And in God's time
You'll finally get the chance to hold your baby girl
And all the sudden everything'll make sense in this crazy world
In God's time

Oh, but no one knows
Not you or me
It might be tomorrow or it might never be
Oh, but don't lose faith
Put it in His hands
'Cause it might be that He might have a bigger plan
Than you had in mind
Miracles happen
In God's time

And In God's time
You go to sleep and wake up with wings and learn to fly
And you finally meet your loved ones on the other side
In God's time 


pretty powerful stuff right?
after friday, & now today.
I cant honestly say im ok with whatever the outcome of all this is.
I know I have said it.
But this time I mean it.